victims of false dowry cases, 498A, DV act

Marriage Vs. Divorce

2007-11-14T06:06:00.001-08:00

Marriage
The gifts given by girl's side are called gifts.
Divorce
The gifts given by the girl's side become dowry.

Marriage
The gifts given by the boy's side are called gifts.
Divorce
The gifts given by the boy's side become stridhan.

Wah! Women equality.

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2007-10-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

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Sowry harassment - the new bane of indian society

2007-06-24T08:46:00.000-07:00

S.O.W.R.Y. = Son-in-law's Own Wealth Released to You.
D.O.W.R.Y. = Daughter-in-law's Own Wealth Released to You.

There is a new evil in Society. This is the SOWRY harassment of husbands and their families. This is a new feature of Indian society. The genesis of this harassment can be traced to the birth and spread of NRIs (Newly Rich Indians) around the Globe, with their money. The method of SOWRY Harassment is linked to the Matrimonial courts, which are geared more towards "teaching husbands a lesson ".

The NRIs, with their money and their peculiar position of having to leave to work, in the USA, Europe or wherever, were the first to feel the heat. These NRIs were educated and the thought of violence was anathema to them, and one encounter with a Police station was enough . Poor guys — they were threatened with loss of livelihood, prestige and so were forced to make a lifetime settlement — Rs 25 Lakhs, Rs 30 Lakhs etc. Women's organisations readily admit that there is some abuse. Of course, when a women's organisation admits there is some abuse, then there is lots of abuse.

This 25 lakhs and 30 lakshs of settlement was enough for others to follow suit. This spurted in around 1996 and by 2001 every woman was on their bargain for getting easy money out of a poor sod who did not know what hit him. After all, filing a 498A is as easy as ordering an Idly Sambhar. Actually, it is easier — the proprietor could refuse to give you an idly sambhar, but the police cannot refuse.

The pattern of behaviour is very simple. The girl would force him, belittle him continuously, harass him, and keep saying you are "harassing me". "Harassing me". Keep provoking the guy and his family, till at some point in time the guy and his family decide to speak up, and hey presto your wife becomes a 498A girl. Every family personally knows of men who have been harassed for Sowry .But very few people know of women being harassed for Dowry . Strange ! How come the media sees things differently from what is around me ? This is because of "consciousness-raising" – i.e. propaganda. No matter how gentle the guy is. it is important to force a 498A and ask for settlement. Marriage should not be a regime whereby, for no work on your part, you maintain your "lifestyle". But through 498A that is what it has become .

Police commissioners and the judiciary have clearly recognized that there is large-scale abuse of the 498A law, and that it is being used for SOWRY harassment. Hats off to them — they are the first ones to recognize the abuse, seeing that they do not have the power that an idly Sambhar vendor has to refuse to take part in SOWRY harassment

"Oh, but men are not driven to death ! " Really, the most ignored fact is that men's sucicide rate goes up by 50% after marriage, while it remains the same for women. Who is harassed more, then ? Where are our tears when men are driven to suicide by women and they are classified as death due to financial problems ? What are these financial problems, if not SOWRY harassment ? One dowry death every 102 minutes and one Sowry death every 30 minutes, but no protection for SOWRY victims .

"Girls are independent and will not just put up with things, and hence now they are using 498A". Where was their independence and tolerance if they tolerated levels of harassment to 498a levels, before filing for divorce ? Why do I see a 498A being filed before divorce ? That is because a 498A is a weapon of divorce and an instrument of SOWRY harassment.

SOWRY harassment is defined as any demand for money, property or lifestyle which interferes with one's peaceful existence or lifestyle .

Unfortunately this "independence" has brought in more SOWRY harassment and more demands for money from the guys. Why couldn't the divorce and separation be: "I don't like living with you . I go my way, you go your way, you live the lifestyle to which you are entitled, and I live the lifestyle to which I am entitled. I am thankfull for the lifestyle you gave me while you were with me "

It is always Money Money Money. I want all your money and more . I will not give you anything back in return. Neither will I allow a child to visit you. Neither will I provide a weekly amount of sex, or whatever I used to give. Because in marriage only a man is supposed to give . A woman is not supposed to give anything.

(This Article was originally published in New Zealand Equality Education Foundation. It was published with permission from Peco Chakravatru)

Sowry is promoting dowry

2007-06-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

S.O.W.R.Y = Son's Own Wealth Released to You
D.O.W.R.Y = Daughter's Own Wealth Released to You

Dowry is bane of our society. Though we made strict laws to curb it, a new trend has come up that has started promoting dowry instead.

Our lawmakers should address the loophole.

But what's the loophole? Anti-dowry law is a must-arrest law, meaning that all those named in a dowry complaint are arrested without investigation. Unscrupulous women misuse the law. They marry for money in the form of settlement/ alimony. Here's what they do.

Find a rich husband and marry him. Immediately after marriage, file a false dowry complaint against her husband and the husband's parents and relatives. Since the husband has never been to jail and courts, he agrees to pay money to the tune of lakhs and dissolve the marriage as demanded by the unscrupulous wife.

This cheating is spreading the message that those innocent husbands who did not demand for dowry are actually fools. They landed into a very big trouble by being against dowry. This is promoting dowry even more than ever before.

Everyday about 200 cases of dowry are reported in Delhi alone. Such fraudulent practise by unscrupulous women is leading to deterioration of our society and family values.

If you are against dowry, you must be against both sowry and dowry.

Greed sees no gender. If you let greedy people be greedy, dowry will continue.

To end dowry, first end the greediness not only of husbands' families but also of wives' families.

This requires unbiased laws to handle matrimonial disputes.

Links to know about misuse of dowry law

2007-05-18T01:33:00.001-07:00

1. SC called misuse of 498a Legal terrorism http://nzmera.orcon.net.nz/dowrylaw.html
2. SC on dowry law misuse http://www.telegraphindia.com/1050722/asp/nation/story_5020229.asp
3. Adverse affect on the public image of India in the world. The foreign governments, notably the United States and Canada, have taken note of this malpractice and have issued advisories on their official websites http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1139.html
4. Even well-educated women are misusing the laws (Star News coverage)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnx3ZmKWcqM
5. Educated women wanting to instil fear in men http://www.telegraphindia.com/1060717/asp/calcutta/story_6474225.asp
6. Research on 498a http://www.498a.org/contents/Publicity/498aResearchReport.pdf

Legal Scandal

2007-04-19T00:31:00.001-07:00

Anti-dowry law (498A) has given rise to a legal scandal.

A bride marries the groom in court or in the presence of only a handful of her relatives. Within a few months after the marriage, the wife leaves the company of her husband and files anti-dowry law (498A) against her husband and his relatives. Since the husband has never been to courts, he agrees to pay his so-called wife a few lakhs of rupees to save himself and his relatives the harassment.

The wife marches on to harass her next victim, who is her next husband. How baseless these wives are!

If you are a victim, visit http://www.saveindianfamily.org for councelling.

Steps HR is taking to protect employees and improve productivity

2007-04-17T02:55:00.001-07:00

Now-a-days, the HR of many companies in India is facing a very serious problem. Loss of productivity because of misuse of anti-dowry and domestic violence laws. Even Azim Premji , the respected CEO of Wipro, couldn't escape one of such laws. 498a is one such law and has been called Legal Terrorism by Supreme Court of India.

When an employee becomes victim of such a law, he has to take leave that often lasts a month or so to protect himself and his relatives. For instance, recently Deepak Verma (name changed), a employee of Oracle Bangalore, had to take a leave of more than 1.5 months to protect himself against the misuse of the law. This results in a heavy loss of productivity to the company and harassment to the employee.

HR department of many companies in India have already started sensitizing their employees against the misuse of laws. To help their affected employees, they have come up with an agressive plan, which include:

1) directing their employees to join Save Indian Family, a strong self-help group by software professionals, CAs, businessmen, etc that also councels the victims and their families. The URL of the join the yahoogroup is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/

2) providing the all-india helpline number 09243473794 (24 Hours)

3) asking the employees to sign an online PIL ( http://mynation.net/pil/pil.php ) against the misuse

4) asking the victims and potential victims to visit http://www.498a.org/faq.htm

5) forwarding this and any related info to their employees, HR groups and societies.

6) assuring their employees that they will not be terminated unless they are convicted.

Illegal arrests

2007-04-17T02:48:00.001-07:00

You tell a legal person half the story, s/he will tell you the later half. The real problem is that even though judiciary acknowledges misuse of 498a like an often-repeated script of an old hindi movie, no action has been taken to stop the misuse.

Even if the police know that a case is false, the accused people have to run for anticipatory bail. What we need is a judgement/ an amendment that will stop the police from harassing the innocents.

We don't want the police to be an accomplice in the injustice against a husband and his relatives.

Stop calling ILLEGAL ARRESTS legal.

The law that defines illegal arrests should be broadened in scope to include illegal arrests in the context of 498a.

Men's life not even worth Rs.5/-

2007-04-12T23:44:00.001-07:00

If u bought a soap for Rs.5/- and found that quality is not commensurate with the amount spent on it, you can seek remedy in consumer rights court. But if you are a victim of your wife's false allegations, you can not file a case.

If you lost your wallet, you can file a case, but if you lost your life because of your wife's false 498a against you, you are totally helpless.

Men's life is worst than a Rs.5/- soap and a wallet.

--
SC called misuse of 498a Legal Terrorism (19/7/2005)

Am I marrying the right girl?

2007-04-08T03:17:00.001-07:00

Marriage is a game more of intelligence than of emotions.

1) If the girl's father is hen-pecked (that is, has no say in her family and/ or bears little or no relation with his own parents), never marry the girl.

2) Always have a gap of 5-6 months between the day you meet her first and the day of your engagement. Meet her atleast 10 times before taking a plunge.

3) The girl's family values play much more significant role than her education level.

4) If the girls' parents insist for an early marriage, rest assured there is some problem.

5) Never marry in hurry, Just because you have been searching for partner for past 3-4 years should not become a cause for concern. It's better late than suffer from anti-dowry (498A) and other matrimonial/ family laws.

6) If during background check, somebody pointed out something negative about the girl, take it seriously. Remember that people normally don't point out trivial deficiencies.

7) Dont trust girl's or your relatives blindly, no matter how close they are. Do your own background check.

8) Last and very important, always trust the instinct of your parents.They are seasoned and see much more than you can. Even small details seen by your old parents, which may seem very trivial to you, can be very important.

She is toxic if she
1) has invited very few relatives on her marriage
2) has excessively enquired about your financial status and spendings
3) gave you an indication that she may not want to live with your parents
4) is excessively attached with her family but do not show an equivalent degree of attachment with your parents

If you see rule no 1 in play on the day of your marriage, simply walk out of the mandap. No second thoughts.

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wife has filed false dowry or domestic violence case

2007-03-29T06:21:00.002-07:00

Save Indian Family is a strong team of dedicated families comprising of victims of "misuse of 498a", including NRIs, Senior citizens who campaign and create awareness about gross injustice and abuse that happen in Indian Legal system.

We specifically fight against:

1) Abuse of old and sick people, especially by Legal means when
they are arrested and put in jail (without investigation) just by one
line of false complaint by their daughter-in-law. We want this law
for daughter-in-law section 498a to be changed.

2) Counsellors from NGOs forcing men to diswon parents and live as
slaves of their wives and in-laws.

3) Large scale Techie-NRI bashing by NGOs and by Media without
considering their great contribution to making India a global power.

4) Draconian laws which are abused by dishonest daughter-in-law to
victimise innocent mothers and unmarried sisters.

5) Daughter-in-laws mentally and physically harassing old, sick in-
laws and not providing them with proper food and healthcare.

6) We fight against NGOs/feminists who support jailing of old and
sick innocent people without investigations under section 498a.

More details :

24-hour All India Helpline Number: +91-09243473794

http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://www.498a.org/
http://www.mynation.net/

http://www.asha-kiran.org/
Asha Kiran. 1252/6, P.M. Lakshmia Layout, Magdi Cord Road Layout, 1 st Main, Vijay Nagar. Bangalore 560 040. Helpline: 91-80- 55334135
Mobile : 9845986250

Delhi: 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Mumbai: 9224335577
Jaipur: 09352562456

SIF yahoogroup not responsible for illegal/inappropriate advt by anyone, placed with any source either public/private anywhere either on the internet or off-internet using the name of SIF and are not liable for any consequences thereby arising.

SIF yahoogroup members is JUST acting as a forum to share information and unite each other to oppose misuse of 498a/DV act in India.

wife disrespects elderly

2007-03-29T06:21:00.001-07:00

Wife threatens of police

2007-03-29T06:20:00.001-07:00

Wife beats husband

2007-03-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

Wife humiliates you

2007-03-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

Save Indian Family (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/) is a strong team of dedicated families comprising of victims of "misuse of 498a", including NRIs, Senior citizens who campaign and create awareness about gross injustice and abuse that happen in Indian Legal system.

We specifically fight against:

1) Abuse of old and sick people, especially by Legal means when
they are arrested and put in jail (without investigation) just by one
line of false complaint by their daughter-in-law. We want this law
for daughter-in-law section 498a to be changed.

2) Counsellors from NGOs forcing men to diswon parents and live as
slaves of their wives and in-laws.

3) Large scale Techie-NRI bashing by NGOs and by Media without
considering their great contribution to making India a global power.

4) Draconian laws which are abused by dishonest daughter-in-law to
victimise innocent mothers and unmarried sisters.

5) Daughter-in-laws mentally and physically harassing old, sick in-
laws and not providing them with proper food and healthcare.

6) We fight against NGOs/feminists who support jailing of old and
sick innocent people without investigations under section 498a.

More details :

24-hour All India Helpline Number: +91-09243473794

http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://www.498a.org/
http://www.mynation.net/

http://www.asha-kiran.org/
Asha Kiran. 1252/6, P.M. Lakshmia Layout, Magdi Cord Road Layout, 1 st Main, Vijay Nagar. Bangalore 560 040. Helpline: 91-80- 55334135
Mobile : 9845986250

Delhi: 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Mumbai: 9224335577
Jaipur: 09352562456

Your wife threatens you of police

2007-03-29T05:07:00.001-07:00

Your wife humiliates you or your parents

2007-03-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

498A Awareness

2007-03-13T23:51:00.000-07:00

Please feel free to download, print and distribute the stickers to spread awareness about misuse of 498a.

A Humanitarian Perspective on Gender-biased Laws and Dowry

2007-02-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes, we read articles against dowry. I believe that it is a scourge on our society and should be eradicated immediately. However, what is happening in reality is scary. The problem is rapidly expanding: the perpetrators of dowry-related crimes are no longer largely men. Seeking money from men by making false dowry allegations has now become a commonplace. What needs to be understood is that whether money is sought from a woman or from a man, both are two different forms of dowry and are equally harmful to the well being of a family and the society. The need to combat dowry urgently, therefore, is far more today than ever before.
In order to combat dowry effectively, we must realize that the fight against dowry is not the fight of a particular sex against a particular sex, but it is the fight of the entire humanity against the perpetrators of dowry-related crime, which could be men or women. I stress on the fact that it is the fight of the entire humanity against the greedy devils of the society, because no matter which sex committed the crime, the sufferer, whether a woman or a man, undergoes the trauma to the same extent.
If we make it a fight against a particular sex, and not against the actual perpetrators of the crime, the consequences will be very grave. Our laws to contain dowry will be gender-biased. The gender-biased laws will encourage people to develop gender-biased mindset, calling for more gender-biased laws to address that mindset. A vicious cycle will begin and every cycle will be a lot more complicated and difficult-to-handle than the previous one. These gender-biased laws will also be susceptible to be misused, some by men and some by women. Misuse of law brings injustice to the innocent. Injustice is bad not only to an individual but also to the entire society, as it breeds criminality. The example of Phoolan Devi comes readily to the mind.
A law that brings injustice by punishing an innocent is nothing but legal terrorism. And Supreme Court of India rightly called 498A Act legal terrorism, as it is not only being misused against innocent of both the sexes but also torturing the masses. Our society doesn't need gender-biased acts and legal terrorism. All it needs is an end to dowry, no matter whether it is sought from a woman or from a man, and the establishment of harmony and equality between and among the sexes and within families.